I’m at a Loss for Words…

Posted on May 16, 2008
Filed Under Arabs, Religion, islam, women, women's veil | 2 Comments

What do you make of this story, gentle reader, posted on May the 13th by Ibn Misr on his blog Sons of Apes and Pigs?

Saudi wants divorce after husband lifts her veil

Never showed her face in 30 years of marriage

DUBAI (AlArabiya.net) A 50-year-old Saudi woman asked for divorce after her husband lifted her face veil while she was sleeping, local press reported.

For 30 years, the wife said she never showed her face to her husband in conformity with the tradition of her native village near the south western Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt.

“After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake,” the wife told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh, after she left the house in total disbelief.

She said the husband apologized and promised never to do it again.

This is not the first case of husbands who have not seen their wives’ faces in decades.

In the past Al Arabiya has reported the case of Ali al-Qahtani, whose wife had been wearing the face veil for the entire ten years of their marrage. When he tried to take it off, she threatened to leave and only decided to stay after he swore never to try again.

Hassan Al-Atibi threatened to marry another woman if his wife didn’t show him her face. The woman nominated one of her friends who doesn’t observe this tradition as a possible new wife for him, saying this would be better than her showing her face.

And neither the husband or children of Om Rabea al-Gahdaray, 70, have ever seen her face. Al-Gahdaray says it is a family tradition, also followed by mother and sisters, which her husband accepted and never tried to change.

When asked how she could have kids without her husband ever seeing her face, she replied: “Marriage is about love, not faces.”

I am beyond flabbergasted, for the life of me I cannot understand how it’s possible to live with a woman, produce offspring with her and never see her face. This must be a joke of some kind, right? The tragic truth is that it’s not a joke! What is even more appalling are some of the comments to the original report. Rather than condemning the ridiculous practice, Ibn Misr points out, some of the commenters on the original article find fault with the fact that it was published in English and thus easily accessible to non-Muslims:

aDNAN
Mr
shame on alarabiya.net, as news articles like this one present arabs to be not only close minded, but retarded as well, islam is a great religion, but people like that have set the worst example of Islam to the western world, the veil is a tradition used by arab bedouins in general, not by islam!!!!, and posting such news in english gives islam a bad name, but again, i wish this was the worst thing that was done in the name of Islam, as it isnt, oh and if you (alarabiya) have the tiniest drop of dignity, you would not post such news in english for the whole world to see as this only happens in very rare numbers, but then again, im not surprised to see such an article coming from Alarabiya!! and i wouldnt be surprised if you dont publish my comment as this website does not believe in freedom of speech, because this website is a tool to try and give the middle easterns a fake idea about the american so called “Democracy”

worst example of Islam
Tariq
shame on alarabiya.net because it always shows the worst example of Islam to the western world I’m not surprised !! because this article is from AlArabiya

dying with laughter!!!!
Iciasomali
This is so funny walahi, i don’t even know where to begin. And to the people talking about dignity and that alarabiya should not have posted this GET A FREAKING LIFE, for gods sake ever heard of freedom of speech. This doesn’t make arabs look stupid or retarded at all, it is just highlighting some stupid stuff which goes on in the Mideast. Next some of you will be saying don’t post anything which doesn’t put arabs in good light e.g. bombings, beheadings etc i guess the list can go on.

TRUE ISLAM
Tajalli
This is selective obscure instance of rarest of rare family custom being masquaraded as ISLAMIC pervasive custom by self-hating west worshipping Al Arabiya reportage.Why doesn’t he write about values

funny
abdikadir
its better to write some thing better than this its madness i mean they are sick you say she dont show her face to her children and her husband so you think they are normal ppl. alarabiya dont show the bad image to the west they think muslim are like this every country have sick ppl like this islam is the best religion

Could it be that the reason some of the Al Arabiya readers are so peeved is because they may practice some ridiculous customs themselves?!?!? And could it be the lady in question wears the veil to hide her ugliness?!?!? I wonder… I wonder…

I was married for 28 years, loved my wife dearly, to me she was the most beautiful woman alive but I saw her face, I constantly pictured it even when I wasn’t with her. I know I couldn’t have loved her if I hadn’t see her. I might have confused her with the neighbor or some stranger on the street. I… don’t know what to say, gentle reader, I just don’t know what to say AND THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN OFTEN!!!

Chaim

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2 Responses to “I’m at a Loss for Words…”

Barbara from New York, United States on May 16th, 2008 6:39 am

Let me play devil’s advocate here, Chaim – men are very visual. I know this because my men friends have told me so. Sometimes they are visual to point of objectification (though I know YOU aren’t like that). However, women are aware of that and in our culture, behave – dress – etc appropriately.

This was probably an arranged marriage (I know I am assuming here) and the face covering was their custom. This woman was so mired in this custom, her husband’s violation of it was a shock to her. A shock and a violation she could not overcome. What is odd to us is that its HER asking for the divorce; not HIM.

I am NOT defending this woman because I couldn’t imagine. With what my medical issues have done to me physically I hate the way I look – plus I no longer date so its not an issue. But, my ex-husband was a very handsome man. It’s not why I married him but I am sorry to say I could not have married someone I didn’t see. It would be, in my mind, like buying a chair that is always covered. And I would never buy would I couldn’t see.

This is a big example, though – of how far apart our cultures are. Bizarre to us… but imagine the indoctrination and subjogation this woman has been put through in her life to feel covering herself up – even for her husband – is vital to her psychic survival.
Jermaine Rodrigo from New York, United States on May 18th, 2008 5:48 am

That 50 year old Arab woman should never have telling on her husband. Now she making him look bad so they should of course chop her head off.
How can she do that to a man. Men are so much better than any woman and all womans. Don’t she know that Mohamed taught us all the four most important things in Islam. One….ladys is prostitute. Two…hate. Three…kill. Four… cristian is stupidity and jew is monkey and budisistis hate god thats how the cyclown hapent there.
Also, alarabiya.com is a xtreemly terible organization for telling to public about moslems fighting moslems. Someone should take the alarabiya and chop their head off.